Proselytizing for Google

Proselytize: to try to convert somebody to a religious faith or political doctrine

Imagine this delivered “preacher-style” in a white tent on a hot day… (the Unity festival is in town and I feel compelled to preach a different kind of religion)

You have all used Google… you have all liked using Google. Maybe you have even liked using Google a little too much. But you probably haven’t delved deep into your computer skills and really learned how to use Google. Once you spend some time truly learning the “gospel of google” you will be able to find the truth you so humbly seek and your spirit will be set free.

With Gmail you can eliminate evil soul-destroying spam from your life, browse your emails “conversation-style”, and get everlasting email storage space (okay, roughly 3GB, but it’s constantly growing and even I haven’t filled my mailbox up yet). You can leave behind the mindless folder searching… where did I put that email… having to periodically delete all your “sent” messages and thus losing half of every conversation.

You…yes you… you know who you are… I’ve told you how necessary Gmail is to the quality of your Internet life. Why don’t you repent and leave your current email partner?

I know your life can be filled with chaos and an overwhelming avalanche of information, but together, we can control the madness. iGoogle can give you what you are so desperately searching for… a nice easy-to-use platform on which to find peace in your life. If you want it, iGoogle can deliver it. Even my life partner, who is mostly immune to my proselytizing about technology, has seen the light and constructed an iGoogle page (see mine below).


Now I know some of you have been tormented by not having your Internet Favorites with you at a crucial life-altering moment. “Wait, wait… let me just look for that site a little longer” you said. But to no avail. Even though it was in your Favorites at home, you forgot to email it to yourself at work, and you looked like an idiot in front of your colleagues (or students). And so I tell you there is a solution to this madness… look no further than … Google Bookmarks (the little blue star on the Google toolbar). Once you add these sites (the sites that change your life) to the Google bookmark list, you will be able to access them from any computer where Google Toolbar is installed.

Even now, you are thinking … “but I have to be faithful to my current systems and internet resources”… but I tell you, you must leave these false idols and seek a new path. Have you not soared above the planet using Google Earth? Have you not monitored your blog usage with Google Analytics (see below)? Have you not blogged with Blogger? I tell you… if you have not done these things, you have not yet lived!


Come, join me on my quest to help Google take over the universe. Wouldn’t we all be better off if … rather than Microsoft or Apple, we had a Google operating system?

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Comments

  1. Tom says:

    Don’t forget Google SketchUp an awesome easy to use (take the short online tutorials and you’re good) FREE 3D modeling software, works especially well when you’re thinking of remodeling the house. Also Picasa which is an great FREE picture album organizer software. I agree Google rocks!

  2. Maria H. Andersen says:

    Shouldn’t that proselytizing have been delivered “preacher-style”?

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